1. Get there early, Grasshopper, for your thirst is deep and there is only so much coffee.

2. The magic words are, "The doughnuts are here," but the word of the year is "naughtyware".

3. A good presentation has, "Fluff, Something to think about, and Something Cool and Shiny".

4. I can haz job at Sourcefire VRT, plz?

5. Master locks, mostly bad. Evva and Primus locks, mostly good.

6. In Virginia, carrying a pair of lockpicks legally implies intent to use them, and is illegal. But possession isn't. Hrm .

7. FTW, download a network scanner that supports IPv6.

8. A company that rhymes with Gintel might kinda maybe have looked into computers in a country that rhymes with Gussia in a building that rhymes with Gremlin during the Gold Gar. 

9. Nobody knows anything about China.

10. Putin really isn't that hot with his shirt off. Or on.

11. You're doing it wrong.

12. You're doing it right.

13. You could be doing it better.